And now for something completely different... Whimsical poetry to be precise (I think reading kids books all day has inspired me / warped my brain). This one was written today after I noticed that the fluffy sloth that sits on the back of our sofa looks like he's wearing really over the top eye make up.
(Incidentally, it only works if you pronounce 'sloth' so it rhymes with 'cloth', which we do in our house, though I know a lot of people say 'slowth'. Sorry if you're one of them - this poem is probably going to bug the bejesus out of you).
Susan the Sloth
Liked to dress as a Goth
Complete with black platforms and hair
This was fine on the ground
But soon Susan found
Climbing trees was a total nightmare.
For a sloth this is bad
She grew terribly sad
For she longed to hang by her toes
But she could not roam
Her arboreal home
Because of the outfits she chose
Her coat would get stuck
And covered in muck
And the twigs would poke holes in her skirt
Her boots were so clompy
The tree would go wonky
And she'd fall out so hard it would hurt.
"Give it up," her friends said
But the sloth shook her head
She was stubborn and really quite proud
"I like being a Goth,"
Said Susan the Sloth
"I don't want to be part of the crowd."
One sunny morning
As Susan was yawning
And applying more black to her eyes
A little voice said,
"Hello sleepy head,
Hurry up for I have a surprise!"
Susan looked all around
And eventually found
Upon her right shoulder a moth
The moth was all black
With red stripes down its back
Quite clearly this moth was a goth!
"Come follow me!"
Said the Goth Moth with glee
And fluttered away through the trees
Off Susan ventured
And finally entered
A field full of black bugs and bees
"Welcome Goth Sloth!"
Said the little Goth Moth
"To my home; we call it Goth Town
We heard of your woes
And between us we chose
To help you get back upside down".
"You'll see by the pond
Past the hedge and beyond
A hammock in which you can swing
Just hop inside
It's a wonderful ride
And you won't have to climb up a thing!"
Susan was thrilled
This Goth Moth was skilled
His hammock was tremendously good
She swung day and night
In utter delight
The happiest Goth Sloth in the wood